Some of the things that have occurred since 2020 have altered our lives and relationships in ways that I find no words for. It started with the word crown–then a mask, and Clorox wipes. In the beginning, we all were a tad overwhelmed. What is this corona? Where did it come from? We were singing “It’s the end of the world as we know it,” but none of us were feeling fine. At first, we received calls from loved ones, children, parents, friends. Everyone was checking on one another. Everyone was praying. People were offering their last baby wipes or ripping the last roll of toilet paper out of someone’s hand. Fear set in for some.
Time went by–tik tok, Wuhan lab, Dr. Fauci, vaccines, Trump, defund the police, riots, black lives matter, and even a city called CHAZ.
It was a roller coaster ride.
The numbers went up. More deaths. Some thought the virus was fake until their loved one was placed on a ventilator.
Things were very raw. Emotions were everywhere. People were angry and for different reasons. Racial tensions grew among people and hatred that I haven’t seen in my lifetime. Division happened. The older generation and the younger generation had differences. Religion and politics became overwhelming, and just when we thought we could come up for air, it was election time. The vaccine came out, and soon fear spread. Division happened with this too. One side screaming, get the shot. The other yelling it’s the mark of the beast, and some folks like me just sat and watched.
My point in writing all this? Since 2020, relationships that are more important than all the things I have named have suffered greatly. Social distancing has taken on a whole new level. I miss my family. I miss gathering and not hearing later about deaths. I miss the way things were before, and I am not sure they will ever be the same. How can they?
Cover your mouths. Stand 6 feet apart. Die alone in a room with no loved one.
One heart wrenching thing I have noticed is how this has changed families and friends. Not only that, but I have watched people lose those they love over this whole nightmare and not due to the virus. When you don’t agree with someone politically or religiously, or think they are ignorant and it’s due to their age, education, or lack of and both parties are voicing their stance loudly, you have the perfect formula or recipe for social distancing of the WORST kind. And if you are grieved over it, think about how the Creator of life feels about it?
What happens when a person votes for Trump and their family hates him or what he stands for, or a person votes for Biden and their family hates what he stands for?
Suddenly folks who haven’t spoken for years are best buddies because they share the same viewpoint. Others never speak again, and if they do, they make sure not to discuss the issues. It reminds me of two enemies who became friends in one day.
“And Herod with his soldiers treated him with contempt and mocked him. Then, arraying him in splendid clothing, he sent him back to Pilate. And Herod and Pilate were made friends, that same day: for before they were enemies one to another. Luke 23:11-12.
They found something in common–An innocent Lamb.
Years ago, a pastor named Jakes came out with a description of three different types of people in your life. It has helped me over the years, but this doesn’t mean i agree with all his doctrine. I have summarized his teaching below. I feel it’s worth repeating during these times we are living in. Our relationships with those we love are worth fighting for.
“To be covered by the Holy One, you cannot be limited by working only with people who look like you, talk like you, vote like you, or dress like you. You have to get out of the box because God is going to use a whole lot of people to bless you and to move in and out of your life. You can’t be narrow-minded or one-dimensional – this is a coat of many colors.
Do not characterize the blessing by colors. It is not the color you need to watch; it’s the character. Watch out for the character.
There are 3 basic types of people you will interact with. The first group is the confidant. You’ll have very few of them. Confidants are those people in your life that love you unconditionally. They are into you. Whether you are up or down, right or wrong, they are into you. They are in it for the long haul. You get in trouble; they’ll get in trouble with you. They’ll come see you in the jailhouse. They’ll get you out of the crack house. You can open up and share anything with them. You’ll never inherit your kingdom until you find your confidant. You can’t be David until you find your Jonathan.
Having a good confidant is the key to inheriting your kingdom because you were raised outside the gate, and God’s going to call you to reach over the wall. You’ve got to have a confidant behind the wall who can mentor you for what God will do next in your life. The problem with most people is that everyone they run around with is under them. So you are forever feeding people who can’t feed you. After years of feeding them, they begin to drain you. You have to have someone who can feed you so you can feed somebody else. The confidants are the few people in your life that are for you. They are with you. They are intimately intertwined in your life. They are there to make sure you reach your destiny. They will confront you. They will get in your face. They will get in your business. They will tell you when you are wrong. They are your confidant. If you have 2 or 3 of them in a lifetime, you are a blessed person. Without them, you will never be who God called you to be. You need your confidant.
Constituents – they are not into you. They are for what you are for. As long as you are for what they are for, they will walk with you, work with you, and labor with you – but never think they are for you. They are for what you are for. You have to know that if they meet someone else who will further their agenda, they will leave you and hook up with them because they were never for you. They were just for what you were for. They are your constituents. Throughout your life, particularly if you are broken, you will mistake your constituents for your confidants. You’ll think they are for you when they are simply for what you are for, and by the time you get through falling in love with them, they will break your heart as they hook up with someone else who is for what you are for because it was never about you anyway. It was about the causes you represent. They are for what you are for, but they are not for you. They are your constituents.
Comrades- These people are not for you, nor are they for what you are for – they are against what you are against. The comrades will make strange bedfellows. This will cause people to come together who are not for you, not for what you are for, but they are against what you are against. They will team up with you to help fight a greater enemy – but don’t be confused by their association. They will only be with you until the victory is accomplished. These people are like scaffoldings. They come into your life to fulfill a purpose, but when the purpose is completed, the scaffolding is removed. Don’t be upset when the scaffolding is removed because the building always remains.
My brothers and sisters, I’m saying to you, expect the constituents and comrades to leave you and desert you after a while. Don’t be upset when they don’t react to your dreams the way you expected them to because they were never really for you in the first place.
Be careful then who you tell your dream to because if you tell your dream to your constituents, they will desert you and try to fulfill the dream without you. If you tell it to your comrades, they won’t support you because they were never for what you were for anyway. If you find a few people in your entire life with whom you can share your dreams, you are a blessed somebody. I can tell you how to identify who is really for you. If they are really for you, they will weep when you weep, and they will rejoice when you rejoice. When you walk in the room, and you tell someone good news, stop being happy for a minute and watch their reaction. If they are not happy for you, shut your mouth and walk back out of the door. When they are really connected to you, they will be happy when you share your dream.
(Jakes has a way with not mincing words) He ends this message with these words:
I need someone that is going to be really happy for me. I don’t want just anyone praying for me. I don’t want any of those haters praying for me because you know you hate me, and you don’t want me to succeed. I want someone praying for me who really wants me to be blessed. Who wants me to be an over-comer. So you can put up your oil and stop speaking in tongues because you know you never did speak to me anyway. There’s no reason for you to come up into this hospital like you’re going to pray some cancer off of me. I’d rather have someone who really loved me lay across the bed and rebuke the devil off me. God is so faithful; He’ll always give you somebody.
Stop focusing on the things/people God took and start thanking Him for the things/people He sent.
True vision blinds you to the obstacles.
You should thank God for all the things that didn’t work. They were a prerequisite to how He’s about to work it out.”
I am blessed by those in my life who love me no matter what!
Sources: T D Jakes, Three Types of People