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Ten Plus Things Not to Say to Sick People and Why

Before you get to the meat of the message below, I want to voice that I believe Our Father is Big enough to heal any manner of sickness and disease, and one day He will! We must teach the next generation to care for His fantastic earth and the food we grow.
I believe our children’s children will grieve over plastic, toxins, the way food is grown, chemicals spilling into our water, and each creature that sings and walks among us, from those extinct to those waiting to hatch or come forth.
I also believe that Our Father, at times, allows life to live. If He wanted to heal every child sitting in a Cancer hospital today, He could, but often this is not what we see. Why? If you wish to hear this or not, we need to look at things and experience things to be humbled and to gain compassion and pray. To all my friends and family out there in the medical industry, thank you for being a servant daily to those who are weak in body. May He use you mightily for His Glory. May you see miracles come forth in the natural and in the spiritual realm.
I pray this blog helps us, including myself, to taste our words to those suffering before we release them.
“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus replied: Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him” (John 9:2).

Ten plus things not to say to Sick People and Why:

1. Have you tried organic, free-range, bone broth, essential oils, magnesium, flaxseed oil, fasting, juicing, raw foods, apple cider vinegar, castor oil, colon cleansers, yoga, Vitamin D, cutting out sugar and diet cokes, earthing, grounding, and so forth?
2. You need to have faith and accept healing.
3. We need to find some really anointed people to pray for you.
4. Have you been through deliverance because this could be a spiritual condition?
5. If you were serious about your health, you could be healed like I was.
6. Don’t speak it. You are snared by the words of your mouth.
7. Perhaps it’s mental?
8. You need to find a good church.
9. I feel so sorry for you, or I know an excellent doctor.
10. But you look great!
You look terrible!
You just need to go for a walk and get some sunlight.

blog hate

Number #1:

Most people who have a chronic illness or autoimmune disease have done much research, and if they’ve had it for any length of time, as in years, they’ve probably tried multiple things more than once.

We know these people mean well, and sometimes we may want to try the latest vitamin, supplement, protein, cabbage fermented juice, mineral water, alkaline water, acupuncture, biofeedback, chiropractic, yoga, kinesiology, homeopathy, aromatherapy iridology, massage, and other forms of bodywork, meditation and visualization, nutritional therapy, and so on. How a person words it can be helpful, so let’s watch our words.

Number #2:

Having faith is something most sick people have. Faith as in the sense of trusting in Our Father. Not some mental word that we practice until we believe it. Faith requires action. Most people who have an illness cry out for healing, and they probably are way past the name it and claim it gig. Even the Apostle Paul only asked three times for the thorn in his flesh to be removed.

“Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this, I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong” (2nd Corinthians 12:7-10 NASB).

Many believe his weakness was his eyesight. He was blinded for three days, but many of his letters hint at not being able to see well.

Several people in the Bible may not have had faith/trust, but their mother or father or even their master did. And some of them, like the servant girl below, and a young daughter vexed with demons, did not even have anyone touch them. They were healed in that very hour.

“When Jesus heard this, he was amazed at him and, turning, said to the crowd following him, “I tell you, not even in Israel have I found such faith. When the messengers returned to the house, they found the slave in good health” (Luke 7:9-10).

Number # 3:

Yes, prayer is powerful. But again, if a person has been sick for a decade or more, they’ve probably had many people who were ‘anointed’ pray for them and with them. One of the most anointed people in the Bible died in his disease–a man who raised the dead. ” Now Elisha was fallen sick of his sickness whereof he died” (2nd Kings 13:14). Also, be careful with that word ‘anointed,’ as it may not mean what you were taught it did.

Number # 4:

Yes, deliverance is needed many times for not just the sick but those who are strong. Some of the most vexed with demonic issues have more strength than King Kong. Ask a police officer who has had a hard time even handcuffing a ninety-pound lady because of this. If a person has been sick for any length of time, and they love the Father, more than likely they have been through ‘deliverance’ or fasted for a length of time and had prayer for this issue. Again be careful how you word things. If we are walking the path of righteousness, we should be getting delivered of waste and our flesh daily, if not weekly, and indeed during the days of fasting and inner searching.

Number #5:

This is usually a plea for someone to stop eating bad food, drinking, not exercising, and making sure the person understands that if they would only drink purified water and food that is alive, they could be healed. Many times in my own life, it has appeared that I eat way too much due to medications or being pumped with steroids to regain strength. Other times due to gastroparesis, a stomach condition where the muscles do not work correctly, I cannot eat raw foods. I’ve been to the hospital before overeating grapes. Most of the time, what I eat when I am invited to a party or family function is not what I eat at home. Still, occasionally you have to enjoy something—my philosophy, not necessarily yours.

Number #6:

The name it and claim it prophesies. Blab it and grab it– Self-forecasting magical potion. All we have to do is proclaim our healing in the name of Jesus Yeshua and bingo-presto. Where does this come from? “You have been snared with the words of your mouth…” (Proverbs 6:2). But what does it say before this verse and after? “My son, if you guarantee a loan for your neighbor or pledge yourself for a stranger with a handshake, you are trapped by the words of your own mouth, caught by your own promise. Do the following things, my son, so that you may free yourself because you have fallen into your neighbor’s hands: Humble yourself, and pester your neighbor” (Proverbs 8:1-3 GWT). Yes, life and death are in the power of the tongue, but we can push this too far.

The Berean research had this to say,

“Fred Price may proclaim “we don’t allow sickness in our home,” but his wife still has cancer. Kenneth Hagin brags that he has not had a headache, the flu, or even “one sick day” in nearly 60 years, but he has had four cardiovascular crises. Paul Crouch (prayers) may have healed Oral Roberts of chest pains on a TBN Broadcast, but it didn’t stop Oral from having a heart attack a few hours later (Christianity in Crisis, pp. 237-238). How are these things explained away? Predictably, by blaming them on the devil. Sickness in the Word-Faith camp is usually seen as satanic attacks that must be repelled by words of faith (i.e., “positive confession”).”

Number #7:

Mental health and physical health, as well as spiritual health, go together. We are one complete person. We are not separated. “Beloved, I pray that in every way you may prosper and enjoy good health, as your soul also prospers.”3rd John 1:2. This verse is saying prosper in all ways. He is praying that these folks are complete—whole and in good health even in their spiritual walk.

When you look at what defines mental health, you may be surprised by what is on the list. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)– Anxiety/Panic Disorder–Bipolar Disorder—Depression–and even alcohol abuse is listed as a mental disorder. This is why we need to be careful with our words. I say ‘we,’ as I fail in this area as well.

If you have never been depressed, not even after childbirth or the death of a loved one, you may need to rethink your antidepressant. Our bodies are equipped with emotions. Numb people can’t feel anything. They are like walking dead. Mental illness comes in many different colors and also deserves all the empathy and compassion any other illness such as Cancer gets.

Number #8:

Many times, people, and especially the older generation, think of wholeness being attained by how many times you sit in a pew or place an amount of money in an offering plate. But the ‘church’ and even the word ‘church’ has been misconstrued in our Bibles. It was translated from the word assembly. We are to gather and, yes, not forsake gathering together, but what were they gathering together for? In Acts, it was a Feast day—Shavuot/ Pentecost. Three of these Feast are called foot festivals. They gathered together throughout the whole Bible for Feast days. He is returning on a Feast day. As a matter of fact, they were gathering at times in houses and other places of interest like hillsides and fishing boats.

Number #9:

Sick people don’t want pity. They used to juggle one, if not two jobs, school, homeschooling, single parents, possibly the CEO of a large company, and more. Many of them were and are fighters. They want empathy and compassion, but unless you have experienced debilitating physical illnesses, you may struggle with this one. Again, most people who have been chronically ill for a long time have had several doctors. Some, even like myself, have been to Mayo Clinic or other research hospitals. Unless the person asked you directly for advice on finding a new doctor, select your words carefully.

Number #10:

This one is by far the trickiest. Telling someone they look great shouldn’t be a problem, right? My mother had Parkinson’s disease, Hashimoto, and later on colon cancer, but most of the time, she looked great even while shaking and in great pain. Sometimes this comment sends an underlying message that the person must be fine and feel fine if they look good. I know many people in wheelchairs who look good but feel like death. The opposite of this is being told you look awful or horrible. Neither of these is the right approach for someone suffering. I know that may sound confusing, but trust me, it’s not helpful. Looks are often misleading.

I hope this list has been helpful, and if you or a loved one is dealing with chronic pain today, my heart goes out to you and them. My prayer is that He completely restores you, and I know one day, if not now, He will!

For more on this teaching, you can listen to my latest podcast on Lamb Messianic Radio via the BEKY Book show with a wonderful host and author, Dr. Robin Gould.

For more understanding of sickness and what the Bible has to say about it, read my free chapter from Doctrines of Demons # 1 here.

Sources: Painting by Tekoa Manning
Photo by Andrew Mushekov
The Berean Research:
BEKY Books and Lamb Radio:
Dr Robin Gould and latest release:
Dr. Robin Gould and her BEKY Books:

Listen to a recent interview of Tekoa with Dr. Robin Gould on The BEKY Books Show radio program. Program starts at the 8:47 timestamp.

5 thoughts on “Ten Plus Things Not to Say to Sick People and Why

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  1. Thank you, I needed this so much today. People don’t realize chronic pain unless they’ve experienced it first hand and all of the other things that go along with it. Thank you. Toda, toda, toda….

  2. Finally had the time to read all of this post! Hearing you speak on Renewed first revealed a person of strength who had testimony we all need to hear. That broadcast was different from the one on the BEKY book show but the added information was/is invaluable. I love our Heavenly Father. He has used the internet, your books and even the telephone to make you my sister in Him and to make me love you…a woman vulnerable, giving, forgiving, repenting, –just an outstanding servant of His. By revealing your own struggles and your Godly reactions you do bring glory to Him.
    Thank you for reminding us that words are wounding and yet encouragement comes in words if we can use them with care.
    You teach much about compassion over pity, empathy over opinion. Compassion and empathy are God-traits not to be ignored. I, for one, am watching for opportunity to do/be better in these areas!
    Blessings!!! thanks for this post!!!

    1. Thank you JoAnne for always encouraging me. I am honored to have such a friend as you. It takes time to read and keep up with a persons jibberish and ramblings. You do it well and even with keen eyes that point out things I need to meditate on or rethink.

      I don’t want to just teach empathy and compassion but live it and walk it, even towards my enemies. Sometimes this is hard.
      Sometimes life is hard.
      I’m feeling very small today, but the ocean is very vast and His Hand is not too short to save.
      Love you.

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