Introspection, and Healing for the Soul–Avanah

Humbleness, to be low–to sink–to bow lowly. To be humbled.

Have you ever been humbled by nature? Have you ever walked through a field of tulips or watched a sunset and been reminded of how incredibly awesome God is and how small you are by comparison? It’s humbling. The Hebrew word avanah is what we translate as “humility,” but the literal definition of avanah is to occupy your God-given space in the world—not to overestimate yourself or your abilities, and to not underestimate them either. 

Chasing the Light

We mostly think in our innermost parts that we are good because of things we do and don’t do. Things we think and don’t think upon. How we see. How we hear. But none of us escape being toxic, bitter, angry, demanding, self-seeking, etc.

We profess we would never kill anyone, but let a strange man grab our child, and we do not know what we would do at that moment.  It is the same train of thought as coveting, after getting verbally, physically, and mentally abused for years, we might covet our neighbor’s spouse. We say we will honor our parents, but some parents are abusive and still, our forgiveness and love may cause them to change.

We say a lot of things. But, When dire times came back in the Dust Bowl/ Great Depression, people did dire things like eat their horses if that’s all they had—a donkey’s head. We read of women eating their babies in the Bible. My grandmother killed a crow during the Great Depression and ate it. Oh, we say, we would never.

But before Dire times come, people talk a big game.

Remember Peter, I’ll never deny you, Jesus/ Yeshua, even if I have to die. I’ll never deny you!!

ESV Peter said to him, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” And all the disciples said the same. NIV But Peter declared, ‘Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.

That’s the ticket— death.

Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die.

A grain must die to produce.

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.”

People say, why did the Jews allow the nazis to make them wear a yellow star or see separate doctors or be off the streets by 7 pm? Good ole boys say, No one will take me out of my home. Do we think our guns can stop an army of intruders in the night? Unawares? Officials with military police?

When hard times come, and our life is on the line, we do as we are told if the person next to us refuses and is shot in the head. Add giant German dogs with gnarling teeth.

Back to being low. Brought down to the earth low.

I belong to a few support groups online, and I meet some of the most humble people I’ve ever met. The groups are not geared toward religion. Most group members probably haven’t studied the word Torah, but they know how to love, and many are Believers.

What do we discuss? Poop. Health issues. Surviving.

I meet with Grown men and women, some of whom have had Colostomies since infancy or childhood. Can you imagine having to deal with that in the bathroom at school. In my high school, there was not much privacy. The stall doors were short with large slats, and the children were cruel.

Accidents happen. I’m sure dating as a teenager would have more issues when dealing with poop bags, but these people are fighters. Survivors. They try to find the good each day, and sometimes, they humbly ask for prayer. They don’t boast about what they know about the Bible or natural remedies. Still, they sure gather around a person who’s just had surgery, is feeling depressed, suicidal, or had a colostomy bag malfunction in public. Waking up with poop all over them in the bed, they gather around those who have thrown up all day from gastroparesis or watched their stomach swell up like a pregnant person.

Many of them have great faith, and they are always looking into natural medicines for healing. They share what works for them, things like licorice, mint, probiotics juicing recipes, and foods easy to digest when stomach muscles are paralyzed.

And what I’ve found in my own life and some of these people is a strange healing takes place. Healing most don’t discuss. It involves Gratitude for tiny things that go unnoticed by others. Things like belching, passing gas, a regular bowl movement, and a gut calm for a few hours. Healing from pride and arrogance happens for some if bitterness, sorrow, and anger at God do not take root. I write much about this healing in Jumping for Joy in the Midst of Sorrow. Here is a free chapter, The Joyful Outcast to save to read for later. 

Physician, heal thyself they shouted to a man bleeding and beaten on a cross. You healed others they taunt and boast, but can you heal yourself?

“In the same way, the chief priests, scribes, and elders mocked Him, saying, “He saved others, but He cannot save Himself. He is the King of Israel! Let Him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in Him. He trusts in God. Let God deliver Him now if He wants Him.f For He said, ‘I am the Son of God.’”

Matthew 27:41-43.

Yes, the sick in the group heal others with their words and their love. Empathy.

I spend a lot of time counseling people far healthier than me. And I’ve learned a lot from suffering that I would have never learned from any other teacher.

A large group of believers will be keeping the fall feasts concerning Yeshua and the Day of Atonement soon. Some will Stand up and beat their breast and cry out and repeat some of the most powerful prayers ever written by Ezra and Nehemiah and then look in the mirror and forget what they looked like.

James said, “ For anyone who hears the word but does not carry it out is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror, and after observing himself goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.” ( James 1:23-24).

Sows wash and then return to the mud and slop. Fingers pointing and prying and searching for yeasts in others.

Why does a dog return to its vomit?

We just can’t help ourselves, Peter. We just can’t help ourselves, Samson. We just can’t help ourselves, Saul, we just can’t help ourselves, David, we just can’t help ourselves, Cain, we just can’t help ourselves, Esau, we just can’t help ourselves, Jacob . . .

And the truth is, we can and we will, but it’s not going to look the same for everyone.

One thing I know to be accurate is precisely what we all want to happen to us when we find ourselves in a messy situation that smells bad. It involves a personal story. Shortly after surgery, I had a tear, and my side smelled like a watermelon. When I got out of the hospital, I was weak. I had to patch a hole in my side and get used to changing colostomy bags with gloves, wipes, and doggie bags. After two weeks of walking with a cane to stand, I encountered a heartbreaking moment of disdain from someone who yelled and screamed and offered no balm.

A few weeks later, my oldest son and his wife invited us to their home for a home-cooked meal. After dinner, we went outside on his deck, and my bag malfunctioned. Suddenly poop was running down my leg and squishing in my sandals. The horror. The smell. The humility.

But they acted like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Here, let me get you a towel and some baby wipes. Do you need to shower? Don’t get upset. It’s okay. Poop happens.”

My husband went to get more equipment and fresh clothes out of the car. I said I was sorry over and over, and my daughter-in-law said stop apologizing. It’s okay. Just take care of you.”

So when we are wallowing in the slop and wishing to eat what the swine ate or returning to the vomit of backbiting, anger, pride, and a religious spirit, it’s time to take ourselves home. Allow the Father to meet us with open arms. Wash us clean. Hand us a towel: a new coat and clean shoes without poop. And not return to what we were standing in.

When we fall short of the glory of our creator, we need others to gently help us wipe away the smell and offer us a safe place to shower.

“We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus ( Yeshua) so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always consigned to death for Jesus/Yeshua’s sake, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So Then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.”

Paul said we are consigned to death for Yeshua. He also said these physical bodies, whether muscular or weak, are deteriorating!

“Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, yet our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory that is far beyond comparison. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Paul said our affliction is producing eternal glory. I think we have looked at the word healing wrong. If we are strong physically, it does not mean we are slow to anger, abounding in love and gratitude or humble; we might be, but isn’t it through suffering that our Savior learned? “Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered.” ( Hebrews 5:8).

And suffering is not just physical but comes in many hues. defining love in todays world can be difficult to do but the Bible describes it like this:

 

2 Corinthians 4:10-12, 16-18.

Love is the greatest gift. Love holds up each other’s arms.

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (ESV) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.”

If you find yourself in a poopy situation, I pray those in your corner are gentle and loving and help you wash away the pain. 

For more on introspection, pick up a copy of my award-winning book The Spirit of Leviathan, Jezebel, and Athaliah HERE