Ten Plus Things Not to Say to Sick People and Why

Before you get to the meat of the message below, I just want to voice that I believe Our Father is Big enough to heal any and all manner of sickness and disease, and one day He will! We must teach the next generation to care for His amazing earth.
I believe our children’s children will grieve over plastic, toxins, the way food is grown, chemicals spilling into our water and each creature that sings and walks among us, from those extinct, to those waiting to hatch or come forth.

I also believe that Our Father at times allows life to live. If He wanted to heal every child sitting in a Cancer hospital today, He could, but often this is not what we see. Why? Whether you want to hear this or not, many times we need to see things and experience things in order to be humbled and to gain compassion and also to pray. To all my friends and family out there who are in the medical industry, thank you for being a servant daily to those who are weak in body. May He use you mightily for His Glory. May you see miracles come forth in the natural and in the spiritual realm.
I pray this blog helps all of us, including myself, taste our words to those suffering before we release them.

“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus replied: Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” John 9:2.

Ten plus things not to say to Sick People and Why.

1. Have you tried organic, free range, bone broth, essential oils, magnesium, flaxseed oil, fasting, juicing, raw foods, apple cider vinegar, castor oil, colon cleansers, yoga, Vitamin D, cutting out sugar and diet cokes, earthing, grounding, and so forth?
2. You need to have faith and accept healing.
3. We need to find some really anointed people to pray for you.
4. Have you been through deliverance because this could be a spiritual condition?
5. If you were serious about your health, you could be healed like I was.
6. Don’t speak it. You are snared by the words of your mouth.
7. Perhaps it’s mental?
8. You need to find a good church.
9. I feel so sorry for you or I know an excellent doctor.
10. But you look great!
You look terrible!
You just need to go for a walk and get some sunlight.

Number #1: Most people who have a chronic illness or autoimmune disease have done much research, and if they’ve had it for any length of time, as in years, they’ve probably tried multiple things more than once.
We know these people mean well and sometimes we may want to try the latest vitamin, supplement, protein, cabbage fermented juice, mineral water, alkaline water, acupuncture, biofeedback, chiropractic, yoga, kinesiology, homeopathy, aromatherapy iridology, massage and other forms of bodywork, meditation and visualization, nutritional therapy, and so on. How a person words it can be helpful, so let’s watch our words.

Number #2: Having faith is something most sick people have. Faith as in the sense of trusting in Our Father. Not some mental word that we practice until we believe it. Faith requires action. Most people who have an illness cry out for healing, and they probably are way past the name it and claim it gig. Even the Apostle Paul only asked three times for the thorn in his flesh to be removed.
“Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this, I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2nd Corinthians 12:7-10 NASB.
Many believe his weakness was his eyesight. He was blinded for three days but many of his letters hint to not being able to see well.
Several people in the Bible may not have had faith/trust but their mother or father or even their master did. And some of them, like the servant girl below, and a young daughter vexed with demons, did not even have anyone touch them. They were healed in that very hour.
“When Jesus heard this he was amazed at him and, turning, said to the crowd following him, “I tell you, not even in Israel have I found such faith. When the messengers returned to the house, they found the slave in good health.” Luke 7:9-10.

Number # 3: Yes, prayer is powerful. But again, if a person has been sick for a decade or more, they’ve probably had many people who were ‘anointed’ pray for them and with them. One of the most anointed people in the Bible died in his disease–a man who raised the dead. ” Now Elisha was fallen sick of his sickness whereof he died.” 2nd Kings 13:14. Also, be careful with that word ‘anointed,” as it may not mean what you were taught it did.

Number # 4: Yes, deliverance is needed many times for not just the sick but those who are strong. Some of the most vexed with demonic issues have more strength than King Kong. Ask a police officer who has had a hard time even handcuffing a ninety-pound lady because of this. If a person has been sick for any length of time, and they love the Father, more than likely they have been through ‘deliverance’ or fasted for a length of time and had prayer for this issue. Again be careful how you word things. I believe if we are walking the path of righteousness, that we should be getting delivered of waste and our flesh daily, if not weekly and certainly during the days of fasting and inner searching.

Number #5: This is usually a plea for someone to stop eating bad food, drinking, not exercising and making sure the person understands that if they would only drink purified water and food that is alive, they could be healed. Many times, in my own personal life, it has appeared that I eat way too much, due to medications, or being pumped with steroids in order to regain strength. Other times due to gastroparesis, a stomach condition where the muscles do not work properly, I cannot eat raw foods. I’ve been to the hospital before over eating grapes. Most the time what I eat when I am invited to a party or family function is not what I eat at home, but occasionally you have to enjoy something. My philosophy, not necessarily yours.

Number #6: The name it and claim it prophesies. Blab it and grab it… Self-forecasting magical potion. All we have to do is proclaim our healing in the name of Jesus Yeshua and bingo-presto… Where does this come from? “You have been snared with the words of your mouth…” Proverbs 6:2. But what does it say before this verse and after? “My son, if you guarantee a loan for your neighbor or pledge yourself for a stranger with a handshake, you are trapped by the words of your own mouth, caught by your own promise. Do the following things, my son, so that you may free yourself because you have fallen into your neighbor’s hands: Humble yourself, and pester your neighbor.” Proverbs 8:1-3 GWT. Yes, life and death are in the power of the tongue but we can push this too far.
The Berean research had this to say,
“Fred Price may proclaim “we don’t allow sickness in our home,” but his wife still has cancer. Kenneth Hagin brags that he has not had a headache, the flu, or even “one sick day” in nearly 60 years, but he has had four cardiovascular crises. Paul Crouch (prayers) may have healed Oral Roberts of chest pains on a TBN Broadcast, but it didn’t stop Oral from having a heart attack a few hours later (Christianity in Crisis, pp. 237-238). How are these things explained away? Predictably, by blaming them on the devil. Sickness in the Word-Faith camp is usually seen as satanic attacks that must be repelled by words of faith (i.e., “positive confession”).”

Number #7: Mental health and physical health, as well as spiritual health, go together. We are one complete person. We are not separated. “Beloved, I pray that in every way you may prosper and enjoy good health, as your soul also prospers.”3rd John 1:2. This verse is saying prosper in all ways. He is praying that these folks are complete—whole and in good health even in their spiritual walk.
When you look at what defines mental health, you may be surprised by what all is on the list. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)– Anxiety/Panic Disorder–Bipolar Disorder—Depression–and even alcohol abuse is listed as a mental disorder. This is why we need to be careful with our words. I say ‘we,’ as I fail in this area as well.
If you have never been depressed, not even after childbirth or the death of a loved one, you may need to rethink your antidepressant. Our bodies are equipped with emotions. Numb people can’t feel anything. They are like walking dead. Mental illness comes in many different colors and also deserves all the empathy and compassion any other illness such as Cancer gets.

Number #8:
Many times people, and especially the older generation, think of wholeness being attained by how many times you sit in a pew or place an amount of money in an offering plate. But the ‘church’ and even the word ‘church’ has been misconstrued in our Bibles. It was translated from the word assembly. We are to gather and yes, not forsake gathering together, but what were they gathering together for? In Acts, it was a Feast day—Shavuot/ Pentecost. Three of these Feast are called foot festivals. They gathered together throughout the whole Bible for Feast days. He is returning on a Feast day. Matter a fact, they were gathering at times in houses and other places of interest like hillsides and fishing boats.

Number #9: Sick people don’t want pity. They used to juggle one, if not two jobs, school, homeschooling, being single parents, possibly the CEO of a large company and more. Many of them were and are fighters. They want empathy and compassion, but unless you have experienced physical debilitating illnesses, you may struggle with this one. Again, most people who have been chronically ill for a long time have had several doctors. Some, even like myself, have been to Mayo Clinic or other research hospitals. Unless the person asked you directly for advice on finding a new doctor, select your words carefully.

Number #10: This one is by far the trickiest. Telling someone they look great shouldn’t be a problem right? My mother had Parkinson’s disease, Hashimoto, and later on colon cancer, but most of the time, even while shaking and in great pain, she looked great. Sometimes this comment sends an underlying message that the person must be fine and feel fine if they look good. I know many people in wheelchairs who look good but feel like death. The opposite of this is being told you look awful or horrible. Neither of these is the right approach for someone suffering. I know that may sound confusing, but trust me, it’s not helpful. Looks are often misleading.
I hope this list has been helpful and if you or a loved one is dealing with chronic pain today, my heart goes out to you and them. My prayer is that He completely restores you and I know one day, if not now, He will!
For more on this teaching, you can listen to my latest podcast on Lamb Messianic Radio via the BEKY Book show with wonderful host and author Dr. Robin Gould.
For more understanding on sickness and what the Bible has to say about it, read my free chapter from Doctrines of Demons #1 here.

Sources: Painting by Tekoa Manning
Photo by Andrew Mushekov
The Berean Research: https://bereanresearch.org/word-faith-movement/
BEKY Books and Lamb Radio: http://www.bekybooks.com/beky-radio.html
Dr Robin Gould and latest release: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Tarts-Robin-Gould.
Dr. Robin Gould and her BEKY Books: https://www.amazon.com/Robin-Gould/e/B01L8ET7WS/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_2?qid=1518559571&sr=1-2

Listen to a recent interview of Tekoa with Dr. Robin Gould on The BEKY Books Show radio program. Program starts at the 8:47 timestamp.

The Kidneys and the Ears


For thou hast possessed my kidneys: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13 JB. “I shall bless Lord Jehovah who counsels me and my kidneys teach me in the nights.” Psalm 16:7 AB.

 I’m five or six years old and it hurts to breathe. I’m feverish. The doctor puts his stethoscope on my chest and tells me to take deep breath’s, which is difficult. He removes his lighted earpiece and looks deep into my ear canal. He asked me if my ears hurt. I answer in shallow rasps. As he peers, he says something to me that today seems humorous. He says, “What have you been planting in there, corn or potatoes?” I sink down and become embarrassed that I have dirty ears. Forget that I’m dying. Not really, but you get the gist of the situation.

I was ashamed that I wasn’t clean. Of course, as I type this, I realize I have often had dirty ears. Yes, ears crammed and packed full of potatoes. He tells my mother I have asthmatic pneumonia; while I sit wondering in childlike fashion, what is growing inside my ear canal.

As I write this blog my husband has eczema and is currently dealing with an itching ear. His left. I ponder a swab of olive oil on a Q-tip to soothe this. Later, I wonder if perhaps peroxide would bubble up and lessen the itch. After a week of nonstop irritation, today the doctor has sent out steroid drops to soothe this issue. I will close this blog with a scripture about itching ear words.

We have two ears and two kidneys. Hearing the deepest truth is attributed to the kidneys: “The Kidneys give advice” (Babylonian Talmud, Chulin 11a). Ancient Chinese medicine also connects the kidneys with the ears and our ability to hear.

Our ears and our kidneys look very similar. Slice a kidney in half and you get this.




We hear, but we do not listen. We talk, but we do not choose our words carefully.

The prophet explains our condition: “You are near in their mouth but far from their kidneys.” Jeremiah 12:2 ISR. Our Bible translators have replaced the word kidney with rein or heart and often as inward parts, but kidneys were the original wording. It was the sweet fat of the sacrifices. Our kidneys purify us. They separate the good from the bad.

“The position of the kidneys in the body makes them particularly inaccessible, and in cutting up an animal they are the last organs to be reached. Consequently, they were a natural symbol for the most hidden part of a man (Psalm 139:13), and in Job 16:13 to “cleave the reins asunder” is to affect the total destruction of the individual (compare Job 19:27 Lamentations 3:13). This hidden location, coupled with the sacred sacrificial use, caused the kidneys to be thought of as the seat of the innermost moral (and emotional) impulses.” For more info on this topic click here.

“The Sages teach that:

  1. The kidneys advise us on what to do.
  2. ALL cognitive functions relating to making decisions occur in the heart and kidneys.
  3. NOTHING relating to this occurs in the brain. (see too Midrash Tehillim 14)
  4. One kidney advises to do good, one to do evil (this is presumably intended literally, since it is stated immediately next to the statement about the function of the organs).
  5. When God wants to judge whether we are good or not, He examines the heart and kidneys, not the brain.”

“ A person has two kidneys, one of which counsels him to do good, and the other counsels him to do evil. And it is reasonable that the good one is on his right and the evil one on his left, as it is written, “The heart of the wise man is to his right, and the heart of a fool is to his left.” (Talmud ibid.)

During the Jewish morning praises, there is a prayer called Nishmat or the breath of every living thing…It says this:

“For every mouth is in acknowledgement to You, and every tongue swears to You, and every knee bows to You, and every erect spine prostrates itself to You, and all hearts fear You, and all innards and kidneys praise Your Name, as it is written, “All my bones say, Who is like You, O God.”

Our kidneys AND BONES praise Him!

Science has discovered that hearing loss and moderate kidney disease are connected. Our kidneys filter our blood and remove toxins which go into our bladder and are excreted from our bodies. When they don’t work right they can damage nerves and yes, hearing. Our Creator is perfect and each organ functions to cause a complete and perfect body. May His Body begin to function in the Spirit of truth, unity, and complete harmony as 1st Corinthians 12.

Our ears are like our hearts. Our hearts need the flesh cut off and so do our ears.

To whom shall I speak and give warning That they may hear? Behold, their ears are closed–And they cannot listen. Behold, the word of the LORD has become a reproach to them;They have no delight in it.” Jeremiah 6:10.

I once had a friend who would try and show me scriptures that I could not see. She spoke words that I could not hear. I heard her mouth moving and enunciating the scriptures, but someone had already stood in front of me year after year proclaiming a different picture. Her words were not worth hearing. I knew more. Her exhausted facial features expressed how ‘put out’ she was with me not hearing and receiving. No matter how hard she tried to open the verses up to me, I had dirty ears. I had potatoes in my ears. My kidneys and heart were not open to hearing her. I had kidney issues. I had heart issues. I had a pride issue.

This woman had no doctorate degree. She was sick. She wasn’t wealthy. Matter a fact she was quite the opposite. She wasn’t going to ‘church’ every week. I had been taught by men behind pulpits that sickness, poverty, and issues that were not positive were due to a person’s sins. They were out of church. They were perhaps not tithers. They were ignorant. Her explanations on His Feast & Sabbaths were interesting, but why would I listen to someone like her? She was in bondage. I was free (Sarcasm). James tells us to be quick to listen, but are we? Are we quicker to listen to those we esteem?

Last week, I walked out of our meeting and the car parked next to ours had a license plate that said, “Listen.” This week’s Torah portion is not listen but Vaera which means “I appeared.” However, listening is the main theme of this portion. The Israelites would not listen to Moses. He had uncircumcised lips. Pharaoh would not listen. He had an uncircumcised heart. “But Moses spoke before the LORD, saying, “Behold, the sons of Israel have not listened to me; how then will Pharaoh listen to me, for I am unskilled in speech?” Exodus 6:12. Verse nine explains why their ears were shut. “Moses told this to the Israelites, but they did not listen to him because of their broken spirit and hard labor.” HCS.

Sometimes we have been through so much hell even a morsel of hope is not accepted.

When Yeshua spoke many picked up stones. When Stephen spoke the people put their fingers in their already dirty ears and they too picked up stones. Stephen told the complete Biblical account and ended with this…

“You men who are stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears are always resisting the Holy Spirit; you are doing just as your fathers did. “Which one of the prophets did your fathers not persecute? They killed those who had previously announced the coming of the Righteous One, whose betrayers and murderers you have now become; you who received the law as ordained by angels, and yet did not keep it.” Acts 7:51-53 NASB.

“He who turns away his ear from listening to the law (instructions), Even his prayer is an abomination.” Proverbs 28:9.

The prophet Isaiah when asked who will go to these people with hard hearts, says,  “Here am I. Send me!”

He said, “Go, and tell this people: ‘Keep on listening, but do not perceive; Keep on looking, but do not understand.’ “Render the hearts of this people insensitive, Their ears dull, And their eyes dim, Otherwise they might see with their eyes, Hear with their ears, Understand with their hearts, And return and be healed.” Isaiah 6:9-10 NASB.

Be healed from what? Diabetes? MS? Pneumonia?

No, something far worse. Kidney disease.

I’m going to close this blog with ears that itch. They itch to hear things. What type of things? Blessings, prosperity, honor of men, fame, mansions and everything good. No correction, no suffering, no poverty, no humbleness, nothing that would cause an ounce of repentance… only itching ear words that no matter how hard you scratch, cannot be soothed because the flesh is never satisfied.

“Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths. But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.” 2nd Timothy 4:2-5.

I’ll continue to rebuke the false prophets and those who preach for filthy gain. I will continue to call out those who preach that His Feast and Torah are done away with. I will continue to stand with olive oil and peroxide, and I will try and clean my own ears.



photo: Bonnie Manning




What’s New With Tekoa?


Welcome readers! I’m eager to announce my 7th release will be out soon! It’s been an exciting month and quite a journey. Doctrines of Demons #3 is going to be a book you’ll want to give to every fire-breathing dragon you meet 🙂  It’s a book that has taken a while to write and many hours of research. I can’t wait to get it in the hands of those who have always pondered the afterlife.

I began writing stories in my head and heart as a little girl. And, I did so daily, until one day in 4th or 5th grade. According to my teacher, my poem about spring wasn’t mine. She accused me of plagiarism– quite sure I had stolen a poem from Emily Dickerson. The teacher called a meeting with my mother, and a school counselor demanded to know the origin of the poem. I didn’t understand what plagiarism meant and I sure didn’t know Emily Dickerson; but, I did know that my poem caused my parents and teachers to be very upset with me. So, I stopped writing.

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
Emily Dickinson

Flash to me at age thirty—I was a late bloomer entering college in the 90s. My wonderful English professor, who had a doctorate in English literature, told me I had a gift. She told me I was a writer. She encouraged me to enter a writing contest about women through the ages. And, I won. You can read that poem here.

Then, shortly before college graduation, I developed a debilitating neurological condition that caused me to lose my health, my job, and, ultimately, my home. What I gained was worth more than gold. It awakened me to my spiritual condition.

With my new found weakness and fatigue, I began to study scripture with binocular vision and soon my concordance fell apart. I also began to do what I wanted to do my whole life—write. I dug up spiral notebooks of stories I had started in the late 90s and with the encouragement and help from two dear friends, I finished both novels.

After two years, I was thrown into multiple ministries and completed my first teaching book, Doctrines of Demons Part #1. You can read a free chapter here. Part #3 will be released soon.

My husband and I started It’s All About Him because we have a desire to bind up the broken hearted. We want every word He has given us and all profit to go to the shattered, the hurt, and the sick, as well as, widows, orphans, and shut-ins. We also long to help homeless Veterans and those who have lost homes due to sickness, disease or addiction. And always, what are you, my readers, struggling with right now that needs hope, light, healing? Let’s encourage one another in this season and hold up weak arms.

Thank you for supporting our ministry, and allowing us to encourage and help others. We are so grateful for all of you who inspire and encourage us daily.

I was pleasantly surprised to be invited back on Renewed with Dr. Deborah Wiley and Kisha Gallagher.  Thank you ladies for the opportunity to discuss dreams and more on Hebrew Nation Radio. It was truly an honor.

A special thank you to Lynette Marie Smith and Tina Mackin. After much prayer, my husband and I were pleasantly surprised when The Father led not one, but two marketers to our weekly meetings. We have been so blessed by Lynette, a graphic design artist, and Tina, a communications consultant. Lynette has breathed fresh life into our Facebook pages and book design headers, while Tina has reworded my bio, giving my readers a greater understanding of my heart and my work.


Many Blessings and shalom!

Tekoa Manning

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Chickens, Rejection, and Pecking Order

I’m not a country girl, so you can understand my shock when I learned from a good friend of mine who raises hens, that chickens will peck a newcomer to death.  As my friend began to explain to me how she had purchased four new hens to add to her group, she said, “Tekoa I wouldn’t dare just try and add one.” I sat there confused.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because they will peck them to death” she stated, emphatically. “They’ll get up to the new ones and start pecking their beaks and eyeballs, and once they get some blood coming forth, the rest join in a frenzy. There is a pecking order,” she said.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  I started realizing how difficult it is to be the new person at school, a new job, in a new family, and other places of social activity.  During my research on this topic, I also discovered that rejection and bullying can cause multiple health issues, neurological disorders, and a host of fears.

Rejection is a word that comes from Latin and means to be “thrown backward.” You’ve heard the cliché, “two steps forward and three steps back.”  It’s the same thing.  You can be rejected due to a weight issue, a birth defect, your race, or even success. You can also be rejected because you are beautiful, intelligent, or unique.  Sometimes rejection is due to fear or jealousy.  One of the worst rejections to experience is one from your very own family or a family you marry into.  Guess who else was rejected by the ones He loved?

“He came to his own people, and even they rejected him.” John 1:11 NLT.

Jesus/Yeshua was rejected by the twelve when he needed them the most.  He had to walk people out of his own hometown because He (The Son of Yahweh) was not able to heal many due to their unbelief.  He was rejected by men who said they would die for Him (Peter) only to deny they ever knew Him.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a well-known trauma researcher, explains; “Research has shown that, under ordinary conditions, many traumatized people, including rape victims, battered women, and abused children, have a fairly good psychosocial adjustment.  However, they do not respond to stress the way other people do.  Under pressure, they may feel (or act) as if they were traumatized all over again.”

Here is the problem: They are thrown backward!

But what is happening to our systematic nervous system when we feel threatened, rejected, and shunned?  Or even worse, what happens when you are being hen pecked to death?  The systematic nervous system or what one site refers to as SNS is worth learning about.

Jurriaan Plesman BA (Psych writes this, “…An overactive SNS is likely to open up blood vessels and flood your face, neck, and ears in blushing.  Other possible symptoms are: dizziness, shaking, trembling, (as when giving a talk in front of people), digestive disorders, swallowing problems, nausea, vomiting, or fear of vomiting or diarrhea, irregular heartbeats, ticks and restless legs, excessive sweating, depersonalization, incontinence, impotence, repetitive thoughts… on and on it goes.  It is obvious that these mental and bodily reactions help to prepare the body for strenuous and quick actions in the face of danger.”

Wow! A lot is going on in our bodies when we are being surrounded by a group of hens fighting for their order.

Perhaps you’ve experienced being the new chicken in the chicken yard a time or two.  I can honestly say it’s not fun.  You can get hen pecked to death and yes, once the blood comes it seems the other chickens do join in.  That’s why parents hate bullies.  No one wants to watch their child get hurt at a new school or neighborhood.  No spouse wants to watch their husband or wife be rejected by their friends or family members.  No young teenager or college student wants to feel like an outcast in the room.  Being a new step mother or father can be difficult. Being a new teacher, a new student, a new employee, can sure stir up the chicken yard.

Remember how the word rejection meant “thrown back?” Well, that’s important, because it has been shown time and again that the more free throws a player misses, the worse he or she will do at the line.  Why?  Because he is so worried about making the shot, so nervous and on edge about the score, team pressure and so forth, that he/she misses it again.  It’s like trying to fit in at a new school, or in a new family, a new job, a new leadership spot, if each time you try and reach out for acceptance you get shunned, eventually it looks too hard to keep trying.  We give up.  Why?  Because we get thrown backward.

Webster defines rejection as to refuse to accept, consider, submit to, take for some purpose, or use.  It goes on to say, to refuse to hear, receive, or admit.”  Rejection is one of the worst feelings a person can feel.

“Psychologist Jessica Witt at Purdue University found that after a series of missed field goal kicks, players perceived the field post to be taller and narrower than before.  However, after a series of successful kicks, athletes reported the post to appear larger than before.” It is easy to witness the power of rejection. The more we encounter rejection, the more we view our efforts as pointless, the less we try, and the farther away our goal seems.  It’s like the four chickens my friend tried to add to the bunch, they just weren’t fitting in.

So I wanted to go farther with this devotional and get to the root as to why people reject others.

“Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made an ornate robe for him.  When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.” Genesis 37:3 NIV.  Jealousy…

David said this, “Those who hate me without cause outnumber the hairs on my head.  Many enemies try to destroy me with lies, demanding that I give back what I didn’t steal.”  Psalm 69:4 NLT.   Jesus/Yeshua said the same thing in John 15:24-25, “If I had not done among them the works which no one else did, they would not have sin; but now they have both seen and hated Me and My Father as well. “But they have done this to fulfill the word that is written in their Law, ‘They hated me “without a cause.” NASB.

Do people hate you without cause?  Do they try and peck you to death?  You’re in good company.

David said, “Ruthless witnesses come forward; they question me on things I know nothing about.”  Psalm 35:11 NIV.

The prophet Isaiah said this about Jesus. “He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.”  Isaiah 53:3 ESV.

Perhaps you are in a new chicken coop and the players are pecking you to pieces.  Remember they did it to Jesus/Yeshua and Joseph.  Perhaps you are tired of trying to fit in the chicken yard and tired of being thrown backward?

I know a man who also had a chicken problem and now he is famously known all over the world.  Harland David Sanders: Better known as Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken was thrown backward a time or two.  The Colonel had a hard time selling his chicken at first. In fact, his famous secret chicken recipe was rejected 1,009 times before a restaurant accepted it.  Don’t let the chickens peck you to death–chances are you don’t belong in the yard with them.  Birds of a feather flock together, but the mighty eagle, he soars alone.

If you’d like to purchase this devotional for yourself or a friend click here

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Candy Apple Leaves

Yellowed candy apple leaves floated down the skies and melted into the grassy brown earth.

The wind sang in her ears.

It shrieked with delight, whipping and twirling more leaves, causing them to dance a forceful Allegro!

The sun crackled from a fire on the horizon, and her heart drank in winter like a warm chimney puffing softly in the folded hills that seemed to request snow.

Their bareness needed a covering.

Who made a storehouse for the snow?

It was the same one who opened the water spouts.

The same one who filled the womb.

His breath had filled everything with LIFE and was tossing up dead leaves to the wind.

She wrapped the scarf around her cheeks and felt guilty for loving the sandy beaches that left the soles of her feet as warm as her heart that burst at the sound of the ocean’s voice which was louder and greater than the greatest sound she had ever heard– minus the cries of her son’s taking their first breaths.


He was born in November and tossed with gold. A grandson named Truth.

Such wonders untold.

Holding life in the palms of her hands.

Letting go of dead things.

Sweeping leaves up from her floor into heaps to burn.

Watching the faces of her son’s dream a dream, and seeing it come forth from the bitter bare hills of nothing.

Could something so warm be born in the month of Cheshvan?

Could a flood of water pour over her and her seed?

Although her legs felt like dead trunks, suddenly she could leap like a prima donna assoluta.

The sky opened its gates and the birds all gathered in place.

They were as white as the snow that had started to fall in a steady rhythm.

The sound of stringed instruments and a fragrance of cassia, myrrh, and cinnamon bark dripped from the trees and they began to bud with new leaves in the midst of winter.

Almond buds like cherry tree blossoms weighted down the arms of the trees and she glided ever so softly into His hand and He carried her to a quiet place.

“Rest my child,” He said, and this time she was obedient and did.

Are you a poet? Would you like to try your hand at entering a contest? Thanks to KaylaAnne, a fellow author and poet I stumbled across today for the first time, I am entering. Coinikidink?  I think not. Check out her page here and the contest here.

leaf yellowleaf


BOOK REVIEW: Walter – The Homeless Man by Tekoa Manning Best Blog India!

BOOK REVIEW: Walter – The Homeless Man by Tekoa Manning
November 2, 2017
@amanhimself  Link for Review

Walter Cover Final

Pages: 512, Paperback
Published: 2013 by It’s All about Him, Inc.
Cover Rating: 4/5

I am glad I got the chance to read this exceptional work. It is a wonderful feeling for a reader to read a book that has a strong on going plot with mature and very well build characters. This quality to be expressed in the form of a writing is rare and Manning has displayed this through her novel.

Walter: The Homeless Man is a story about a man in sixties who has suffered a loss and is trying to avoid the pain that came afterwards. He is on a run in a different town where he sleeps under the stars and in day, breaks into a young widow’s home for shelter. Unknown to him, his routine touches every life in that home changes the course of their lives. A misunderstanding that is displayed in fruitful manner starts another journey for Walter, that changes him for the good.

The plot of this book is smooth that possess a series of events happening one after the other in a manner of completing the puzzle. The theme it touches include integrity of man, forgiveness and redemption. The plot revolves around our protagonist, Walter but the two subplots that meet at a point do take a massive space inside the book. I like the way the author has entwined characters with plots and forming a perfect ending to the book. The plot has steady pace that grows further and a reader would be able to finish this book in to time. I was hooked by the plot, the characters and the writing style, and regardless of its length I did manage to finish it in two sittings.

The characters will take to a journey and will make you feel and realise the themes I mentioned earlier this book covers. They are so realistic and developed without any complexity. Every character has something to show a reader how humane they are. This simple manner of developing strong characters did astonish me. Even more, often times a reader will find that these characters drive the plot forward. The narrative voice is good and the dialogue formation is flawless.

The writing style smooth and simple and understandable. Author does try to let loose her characters at some point of time in the book and it seems these characters have their own destiny and are controlled by it. I like the way she writes in a flow that seems satisfying for a reader like me to enjoy. I recommend this book to any reader who wants to enjoy a well-written book.

4 out of 5!


Superman Ice Cream

Her eyebrows looked like two worms– bait worthy for catching trout, and her smile was like a bag of marshmallows—soft and gooey, sweet even.

I couldn’t stop watching her piercing green eyes that made it hard to notice the other pieces of her collected self. A hat would have helped the frizzy hair, but for some reason it made the worms less noticeable, and the combination somehow became instantaneously beautiful.

I had a thing for quirky girls and girls who liked rain boots with shorts. Or cowboy boots. Or really any boots at all.

“Whatcha doing?”

She answered one word with a smile as big as a grapefruit.


Only she said it long. Haaat-fiellllddd.

She said it in her best southern drawl.

Then her smile curved up– the marshmallows lined up nicely framing her pointed chin.

“Going to Cooks house. You comin?”

“Who all’s over there?” she asked.

“The usual hangers.”

She kicked a rock into a puddle, her polka-dotted pink boots skipped toward the sidewalk and up the hill.

“Why don’t we go somewhere else?”

“Like where Kat?”

“I dunno.”

She bit the bottom of her lip and tossed a frizzy curl out of her eye.

“Talk Kat.”

I was losing my patience.

“I don’t know. Her eyes batted. I was just thinking about an ice cream cone or Chinese food.

Thinkin about slippery rocks by the river and moss-covered stones drinking up the earth. Noticing a firefly—a butterfly, or a bee stealing nectar.

I want to dance Hatfield.”

She kicked her heel up behind her.

“I want to fly a kite.”

She moved her arms like a rainbow satin tail of brilliance tied by a string.

“I want to soar.”

She grabbed her imaginary umbrella and like Mary Poppins, she was perfectly perfect for me.

I smiled from a place that held emotions. She was thawing out my frozen limbs and trunk. My heart of stone.

“Hatfield, I want to live!”

“Don’t you?”

She said it as if I never had before, and with a certainty I took her hand and we skipped all the way down to the Baskin Robbins counter.

“What will it be?”

“I’ll have very berry strawberry, she said.

The pink ice cream atop the cone matched her polka dot boots and her strawberry heart.

I ordered superman flavor, hoping that I could acquire the strength to remove my cape and completely be myself in the presence of such a beautiful woman created by an amazing Creator.

He seemed to be whispering to my spirit, “Live Hatfield. Live!”

And I will.



Why do you Speak to Him? (Doctrines of Demons #1)

Chapter 9

I remember the power that rang through the voice that was speaking to me and commanding Satan to turn me loose.  The large hand was placed on­­­ my forehead and the prayer continued with more screaming at the enemy.  “Satan wants to take you out! He wants to literally destroy you, but he must bow!”


Sadly, I was suddenly feeling a little prideful that Satan wanted to obliterate me. Was I so anointed that he was on a mission to take me out?  No, I was just your ordinary follower of Jesus/Yeshua trying to live a holy (set apart) life.  I prayed. I read His Word, and I tried to live a life worthy of His commandments. This is hard enough to do in this day and time. But this Shepherd was telling my enemy to bow.  I wondered why I had never read of any great men of G-d in the Bible praying such a prayer.  Did they?  I began to study this and wore my small concordance out looking up every verse on the “father of lies.” Although I studied every scripture concerning him, in no place did I find that type of prayer. I hear so many today praying to Satan.  I know that I have mentioned this in an earlier chapter, but the need for truth on this matter, especially in the charismatic church today is greatly needed.


I have heard many pray prayers that contain dialogue like this, “We bind you Satan, you must bow, and you cannot cross this blood line.  Satan you are a liar and the father of lies.  Satan you are under my feet.”  Is he?  If he is, why does Paul warn that he roams around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour?  Again, If You bind him, how long is he bound?  What is he doing while you yell at him?

So back to the man praying over me, he continued with a great swelling boast: “I take authority over the powers of the airways and I command you to take your filthy hands off of my sister…” Again, this didn’t set well with me. If we had power over the airways we could stop the missiles from hitting Israel. We could stop wars. Well, you get the picture.

I was raised in a church with this particular teaching, but I have to tell you, I just don’t agree with it, and I don’t find it biblical.  Now once again I want to show you in the word of God, precept upon precept, and line upon line.  When we study the Bible both the Older and Newer portions, we have a complete picture of how the Godliest men and women fought their battles and nowhere did they converse with or curse Satan during those times.  Job didn’t. King David didn’t.  Moses didn’t, and neither did the mighty men and women of Jesus/Yeshua’s day.


After Paul and Silas are thrown in prison and beaten unmercifully they didn’t curse Satan. They praised Adonai by lifting their voices and singing praises. Let’s read that account:  “A mob quickly formed against Paul and Silas, and the city officials ordered them stripped and beaten with wooden rods. They were severely beaten, and then they were thrown into prison. The jailer was ordered to make sure they didn’t escape. So the jailer put them into the inner dungeon and clamped their feet in the stocks. Around midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening. Suddenly, there was a massive earthquake, and the prison was shaken to its foundations. All the doors immediately flew open, and the chains of every prisoner fell off!” Acts 16:22-26 NLT.  No yells or threats made to Satan, but they do go on to lead the jailer to salvation.

Once when Paul was speaking to the church in Thessalonica he had this to say, “We wanted very much to come to you, and I, Paul, tried again and again, but Satan prevented us. 1 Thessalonians 2:18 NLT.  Let the scripture speak for itself. There is no record of him talking to Satan, he just says he was delayed. We also have to remember Satan means adversary or enemy.

Peter, chapter two, discusses false teachers and prophets that would be among us. Then the passage describes some of their characteristics: …  “Many will follow their evil teaching and shameful immorality.  And because of these teachers, the way of truth will be slandered. In their greed they will make up clever lies to get hold of your money.  But God condemned them long ago, and their destruction will not be delayed.”  2nd Peter 2:2-3 NLT.

Peter went on to explain just how corrupt these men are. “But chiefly them that walk after the flesh in the lust of uncleanness, and despise government. Presumptuous are they, self-willed, they are not afraid to speak evil of dignities. Whereas angels, which are greater in power and might, bring not railing accusation against them before the Lord.  But these, as natural brute beasts, made to be taken and destroyed, speak evil of the things that they understand not; and shall utterly perish in their own corruption;…” 2nd Peter 2:10-12 NLT.

Jude had this to say: “Likewise also these filthy dreamers defile the flesh, despise dominion and speak evil of dignities.  Yet Michael the Archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, the Lord rebuke thee. But these speak evil of those things which they know not: but what they know naturally, as brute beasts, in those things they corrupt themselves. Woe unto them! For they have gone in the way of Cain, and ran greedily after the error of Balaam for reward, and perished in the gainsaying of Core.” Jude 1:8-11 KJV.


Jude uses three different people in the Bible to describe them. Cain who murdered his brother over the jealousy of Abel’s righteousness.  Next, he uses Balaam who would have cursed Israel for his greed if G-d had not stopped him and Korah who rose up against Moses and Aaron and tried to exalt himself in the camp. However, instead, the earth opened her mouth and swallowed him.


Now if angels don’t speak evil to Satan but say, “The Lord rebuke you.”  Should we not tread where we are ignorant?  And why should so much time be spent talking to the enemy? Wouldn’t it be better to cast out the demon and let the person who comes for deliverance get into G-d’s Word and the power of the Holy Spirit? What power is there in repeating repetitious prayers to the enemy?  None. According to Peter, Jude, and many others, we don’t have any business doing that anyway. We just learned that men who do this are filthy dreamers–brute beast even. They are corrupt, filled with pride, arrogance, and ignorance.

Now in the Older Testament (Tanakh), there is a story about Daniel and his prayers getting through.  Daniel says a prayer during a twenty-one day fast and an angel appears to him. Let’s look at that closely.

“Then he said, “Don’t be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven.  I have come in answer to your prayer.  But for twenty-one days, the spirit prince[c] of the kingdom of Persia blocked my way.  Then Michael, one of the archangels,[d] came to help me, and I left him there with the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia.[e]  Now I am here to explain what will happen to your people in the future, for this vision concerns a time yet to come.” Daniel 10:12-14 NLT.  Now Daniel didn’t know there was a war in heaven for his words.  Daniel wasn’t commanding the Prince of Persia to bow. HaShem sent Michael the archangel to help this angel battle a General and ruler over Persia. The rulers at that time were fierce! Remember they threw Daniel into a den full of hungry lions. Think about world leaders for a bit and remove the focus from how it was explained to you by your pastor or priest.

Daniel pours his heart and soul out to G-d in chapter nine and ten. He humbles himself through prayer and repents for his nation and the people. He knew G-d had made a specific link between these seventy years in captivity and the number of Sabbaths they had missed. Just like the famous verse we quote so often in times of need, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV. However, when we read verse ten we understand the secret Daniel knew about this Prince of Persia.

Jeremiah 29:10, “This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place”. Daniel knew that the time was getting close to being fulfilled. However, the Prince of Persia knew that as well. Earlier, in Daniel chapter five, we read about a feast put on by Belshazzar for thousands. Who was Belshazzar? He was a sixth century BC Prince of Persia.

“Belshazzar, when he tasted the wine, commanded that the vessels of gold and of silver that Nebuchadnezzar, his father, had taken out of the temple in Jerusalem be brought, that the king and his lords, his wives, and his concubines might drink from them”. Daniel 5:1-2. ASV.  He must have had a reason for drinking from those vessels at this time. And I am betting that he thought the seventy-year prophecy had passed and that he had been triumphant over Israel’s G-d.  Then the finger of Yahweh wrote upon the wall of his palace, Belshazzar died, and Babylon was taken over by the Persians. You can yell at Satan and Princes over territories, but ultimately G-d is in control and what moves God’s heart is prayer, fasting, and repentance like Daniel did.

I honor the ministers who are gifted and take on the foulest demons from hell, but at the same time, I think a lot of this doctrine needs light.  Conversing with Satan is not one of the ingredients for victory. Getting puffed up and shouting at a being G-d controls, created even, and uses for His purposes is not wise.


How do these ministers think that they have a right to make Satan bow when G-d has sent him? The pride of it all is baffling to me.  Paul had this to say about the wicked in the church who wouldn’t repent, “Then you must throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed and he himself will be saved on the day the Lord returns.” 1 Corinthians 5:5 NLT.  Do you knock on Satan’s door and say, “Hey buddy, I got a live one for ya!”   No, we have got to start thinking clearer about verses.


Satan shows up in the New Testament when the Spirit leads Jesus/Yeshua into the wilderness to be tempted by him.  Ironic?  I think not.  Hopefully, you are getting a better understanding of your adversary.  Praying prayers where men and women of G-d shout at Satan is not mentioned in the Bible.  Jesus gave us an example of how to pray.  He said to pray after this manner, “And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, they have their reward.  But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.  Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.” Matthew 6:5-8 KJV. Jesus/Yeshua said to pray to be delivered from evil and for us not to be led into temptation.


In the New Testament, we hear about Satan or the Devil our adversary, but not once do we hear anyone conversing or shouting at him.  Even when Yeshua was warning Peter about Satan, he didn’t say anything but the fact that Satan desired to have him.  Let’s read to get more understanding. “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:31-32 NLT.  Notice Satan had to ask Jesus/Yeshua if he could get permission to sift Peter.  Also, we notice by reading this that Jesus doesn’t say anywhere that He told Satan to flee or bow, but that He instead was praying for Simon Peter’s faith to be strengthened. He was praying for him to pass the test. Shouldn’t we follow the examples set before us in the scriptures? Talking to Satan is a waste of time and energy.  Just think you could be praising the King of Kings!   The book of James says this, “Submit yourselves therefore to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7 KJV.


How did the Son of Yahweh converse with the devil when He was tempted in the wilderness?  Did He curse him and tell him to bow?  Did he tell him that one day he would be shut up in a pit and laugh at him? Again, no. He said, “It is written…” Matt 4:4 KJV. Again, he said, “It is written….” Matt 4:7 KJV.  “Get thee hence, Satan: For it is written….” Matt 4:10 KJV.  In Luke, He says, “It is written...”, “It is said…”, “Get thee behind me Satan: for it is written” Luke 4:4, 12, 8 KJV. Jesus fought his own wilderness temptation with the Word.  The enemy will come to tempt us all, and the Holy Spirit will help us overcome, but it seems we do that by using the word of Adonai. “…for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.  And they overcame him by the blood of the lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.”  Revelation 12:11 KJV.


This is the scripture G-d gives us to follow. He said we overcome by the blood and the word of our testimony.  If you keep talking to Satan and incorporating him into your day when things don’t go right, aren’t you really giving him attention and more credit than he deserves?  If we resist the devil he will flee. Don’t be like the men Peter and Jude warned us about.


In the next chapter, we will look at how Satan has evolved over time and through literature.

demon book cover



Who We Honor–A blog on relationships & Marriage

As I was listening to a man named Frank give an analogy– I suddenly had a very vivid image. He said, “Picture a baseball being hit and landing in an outhouse full of waste or a sewage tank. What do you do? Do you get it out?” No, but what if it was a diamond that large? (Paraphrasing) He proceeds with example after example, of who and what we honor and why. Frank Seekins zooms in on the issues, and his wisdom and understanding of relationships are undeniably some of the greatest teachings out there. If you get a chance watch. Dr. Frank Seekins ‘A Mighty Warrior’

Dr. Frank Seekins: Hebrew and Your Relationships

And if you’re married, I suggest watching them both with your spouse. Grab the popcorn.

I’ve stumbled across several amazing teachings on marriage and the roles of men and women by googling. Yes, right out there in internet land where you never know what you are going to get; I landed on a couple of diamonds. So, to further your appetite, I want to add two more links before I get into this blog post. If your marriage is falling apart, empty, and less than desirable, and in the words of the Righteous Brothers,

You lost that lovin’ feelin’ Whoa, that lovin’ feelin,” then you need help!

It’s possible that you don’t know how you were designed by The Creator—the One who designed Adam and Chavah (Eve). You may not know your role in the relationship or how to make the most of your marriage. Dr. Skip Moen was one of the first teachers Abba led me to during my journey. His book Guardian Angel is a life-changing read. If you haven’t discovered his blog post or heard of him, here is a short blurb.

Skip Moen is the founder of At God’s Table, a worldwide cyber community that explores and applies the Hebraic worldview of Scripture. Skip has five earned degrees and travels to the far reaches of the globe visiting readers, teaching and encouraging people to be distinctively different in their thinking and living.”

Click here to order Guardian Angel. Dr. Skip Moen or you can look for his video series on YouTube.

Author and teacher, Kisha Gallagher has an amazing series called Role of Women on her blog site Grace in Torah. You can read her series on the daughters of the Most High here.

According to Jewish history, the Rambam counts four steps to repentance which they call Teshuva. This word literally means to return. Teshuva is a time of self-evaluation and trying to work on coming up higher. This is the season of doing just that and also in our marriages. I have listed the four steps below along with a scripture for each.

  1. Recognize and then discontinue. (Escape from all lusts of youth and run after righteousness, faith, love, and peace, with those who call on our Lord with a pure heart.) 2nd Timothy 2:22 AB.
  1. Verbally confess the action (Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed.) James 5:16 NASB.
  2. Regret the action. (Against You, You only, I have sinned And done what is evil in Your sight, So that You are justified when You speak And blameless when You judge.) Psalms 51:4 NASB.
  3. Determine to never repeat the actions. (Pursue peace with all, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord (Adonai,) Hebrews 12:14 BLB.


This blog will have mercy sprinkled throughout. I need mercy.

It will be a blog of pondering traits we see in ourselves. I need to meditate.

It will contain a bit of psychology mixed with Teshuva. I need to return.


Marriage is a funny union of opposition and struggle, laughter and unity. It’s a mixed-up mess of good and bad and at times an incredible masterpiece. It’s both parties coming together as one, but without Him in the center of a marriage, it is fire–a consuming fire.

Time and gravity change us. Our spouses may not look exactly like they did the day we married them, but hopefully, we see them more beautiful or more honorable now than then.

The word for fire in Hebrew is “esh.” Click the link to listen to the word and see it written in the Hebrew. Fire in Hebrew

The word for man in Hebrew is ‘ee-sh’ and woman is ‘eesha.’ Both words have fire in them and when you place them together and the two become one, you have Fire-(Yah-or God) Fire. He is in the center. When both parties are prideful, stubborn, and self-seeking—placing themselves above Abba, above their spouses, then you have a whole bunch of hot tempers and fiery flames, fighting to be right and in control. Or perhaps one spouse is a believer and the other one isn’t much on board? One wants a spiritual life, the other not so much. This too is causing one of the parties involved to not be able to fulfill their destiny as they should. Sadly, we can devour each other with our fire, instead of Abba’s fire. All this fire can turn our relationships icy cold.

Most the time we want things in this life that never bring us joy, peace, fulfillment, or anything worth fighting for.

Used to, when a couple met, and they began to desire one another, they came to a conclusion that it was going to be a good union and they married. Now days not so much. Most people just live together or have bedroom mates. They miss the whole opportunity of standing before family and friends and saying, “This is my bride! This is my husband!” This is the one I am going to become one with—die with—and make a covenant vow with. They miss being set apart from the world.

My husband waited months to hold my hand and even longer to kiss me. He was not going to lead my heart to believe that he had made his mind up about marrying me, or that I was ‘the one,’ until he was certain. He wasn’t going to try and use me for sex and then discard me. When he kissed me it had been 12 years since he had kissed a woman. Not because he is unattractive or didn’t have women pursuing him, because he is a man of valor. They still exist ladies.


Nowadays we go to great elaborate exhausting, expensive wedding plans, but we often are met with divorce and unhappy endings. We are met with fire pus fire. I’ve been there! The person we thought we would grow old with, raise children, and grandchildren with, now is a shattered, broken family. Children, from previous unions that failed, now thrown into a hodgepodge of trying to mix and blend. This was never The Father’s plan. I could list a ton of reasons for divorce and unhappiness in the home, but I just want to showcase some things that affect all of us whether we are married or single. Remember the videos and blogs I posted above are for the deeper healing and revelation.

Many marriages and relationships struggle due to passive-aggressiveness, control, manipulation, the martyr complex, and many other behaviors connected to our past. It’s a common problem today, but becoming aware of some of these sneaky characteristics helps. I wanted to start with a behavior that is common—passive-aggressiveness.

Here are eight features of passive aggressive people taken from Daily Worth.

  1. Asking Threat-Based Questions
  2. Making Wistful Statements
  3. Doling Out Backhanded Compliments
  4. Ignoring or Saying Nothing
  5. Procrastinating
  6. Leaving Someone Out
  7. Sabotaging Someone
  8. Keeping Score

For more info, click the link here 8 Signs You’re Being Passive Aggressive | DailyWorth

Many times our hearts do things that are so subtle it gets overlooked, even by us. . . “If our hearts know nothing against us, we have confidence in approaching God.” 1st John 3:21. What Our Hearts Know? – Obadiah’s Cave

  1. יְהוָה YHWH our Father is compassionate before a person sins.

So let’s review a couple characteristics of passive aggressiveness and see if we need to come up higher in an area. I’ll start with wistful statements.

Example: Family member explains that they are going to Australia on vacation. Our response is–“Boy, I wish I could go on a vacation like you, but “I’m too broke—it must be nice.” I wish I could relax and watch a movie but I have to do all the dishes.” Etc.

A friend calls to tell you about a fabulous book he/she read—a new sushi restaurant tried, and we say, “I wish I had free time to lounge around and read or go out to eat, but I have to take care of my mother who has Alzheimer’s.” The wistful list is unending. It may be true, but it just makes the other person feel bad.

  1. YHWH our Abba is compassionate after a person has sinned.

Backhanded compliments can be traced to jealousy. The compliments seem more like jabs or smirks—congrats with a twisted remark that takes away from the person’s accomplishments or even their worth. One example would be a friend writes a book or starts up a business and is excited to tell us, but instead, we say “not my type of business, genre or writing style—I only read murder mysteries, but good luck with that. Or perhaps we add on something unneeded. “Nice dress, but you would look better in red than the blue. “You made some good points, but you need to learn __”

  1. אֵל El: mighty in compassion to give all creatures according to their need.
  2. רַחוּם Rachum (compassionate): merciful, that humankind may not be distressed.

Many times people can cause us to become distressed. Many times we can cause them to be distressed. Unknowingly, at times our own need for recognition snuffs out others lights.

The silent treatment is one of the most heartbreaking traits. This is when a person acts as if we are unworthy of reconciling or talking through things. The person is clearly unhappy with our behavior or is jealous or suspicious, so he or she is going to punish us by not speaking—or ignoring us. Then we are supposed to try and figure out what we said or did that was wrong or deserving of guilt–silence. Sometimes it’s more subtle. We ask a question, perhaps it’s about a party we heard about and the person ignores it leaving us feeling unwanted on the guest list.

The Martyr image is one rooted in child abuse or strict religious upbringings. Most martyrs have a poor self-image, low self-esteem, and can be moody and judgmental. They often exaggerate their level of suffering and use it for attention. They can be critics to a fault and they may have difficulty with the word ‘no’ or needing to be right.

Can you see yourself in any of these? I’m sure we all can see something.

Other areas of change may involve looking deeper into our hearts for healing.

Are we know it all’s?

Must we get the last word?

“When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, The foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest.” Proverbs 29:9.

Can we learn from others regardless if they have Ph.D. after their name? Humility.

“Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus.” Acts 4:13.

Do we have a cure for everything?

Do we drive better, cook better, and look better than everyone?

Do we offer advice continuously but never take it.

“If I were you…” Is our way best?

“Are we wiser in our own eyes?

“Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.” Proverbs 3:7.

Are we certain our son/daughter is not the problem in the failing marriage, or our child would never have gotten in trouble if he/she hadn’t been hanging out with so and so?

So often we find ourselves angry and hurt over what others have done to us, but what did we do to them?

Are we as merciful with others as Abba is with us?

  1. וְחַנּוּן VeChanun (Gracious): He shows mercy to us when we don’t deserve it and is gracious when we are already in distress.
  2. אֶרֶךְ אַפַּיִם Erech appayim: slow to anger. He gives us time to repent and think about our sins.
  3. וְרַבחֶסֶד VeRav chesed: and abundant in kindness. He is giving and loving and showering blessings that we do not deserve.
  4. וֶאֱמֶת VeEmet: and truth. He is not a man that He would break a vow or lie to us.

All of the items on this list are just to ponder and search out. They are not directed at anyone, and if we all were honest, we all are hopefully seeing something we need to change.

9.Notzer chesed laalafim: keeping kindness unto thousands;

     10.נֹשֵׂא עָוֹן Noseh avon: forgiving iniquity;

11.וָפֶשַׁע VaFeshah: and transgression;

12.וְחַטָּאָה VeChata’ah: and sin;

  1. וְנַקֵּה VeNakeh: and pardoning.

Who is a God like HaShem?

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4 NASB.

I want to leave you with the answer to the whole issue. It all stems from love. Loving ourselves, our spouses and others, with a pure love. Allowing Him to increase while we decrease. That means all our knowledge, which isn’t much, all our looks, ambitions and titles become very small in our eyes. You know how small they are compared to Him? Teensy-weensy.

“So we have come to know and trust in the love that God has for us. God is love. Now whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

In this way, love is made perfect among us, so that we should have boldness on the Day of Judgment. For just as He is, so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and the one who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love because He first loved us.

If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar. For the one who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him: that the one who loves God should also love his brother.” 1st John 4:16-20 Tree of Life Bible.











Crème de la Crème


Let’s get real for a minute.

I once had a friend who was talented in the gift of music. One day she called in tears and was being uprooted from her home. I already had two extra people living with my son and me. We were also in the process of digging out to relocate, but I told her to come and stay until she figured things out. Meanwhile, I had a young son who was depressed, and a dog who had become way over protective of me due to my sickness. My beloved Rex had begun to bite just about everyone– except—well, me and my son.

A few weeks later. . .

With so many in the small quarters, I was juggling my dog from my bedroom to the backyard. Rex, in Houdini fashion, had learned to escape by jumping the fence. I had not acquired such skills yet.

Rex was my second dog there. The first was a beagle named Gary, who my ex-husband had dropped off unannounced while I was at work. The dog was a sniffer and he cried and howled continuously no matter what you did for him. One day after a long shift, I mouthed under my breath audibly, “I wish that dog would die.” Of course, I didn’t mean it, but the next day Gary died. Yes… a lawn mowing accident perhaps. I wasn’t mowing, but I am certain, I killed Gary just the same. A rock flung up and hit him in the temples at just the right spot.


Back to my house guest.

A few weeks in and multiple piles of laundry in front of my washer–I felt spent. I decided one night to have dinner with a friend, leaving my dog locked in my bedroom for a short duration. During dinner, my newest guest called to tell me her daughter was coming for the weekend. Her husband had full custody of her daughter due to her health issues but she got her on weekends. It had been weeks since she had seen her. She was excited. She was already sleeping on my couch. Where would her daughter sleep?

I couldn’t breathe.

I remember praying under my breath for Abba to stop the insanity. I couldn’t handle another person, and I was still quite sick from MS. I said, “Abba send her away!”

I arrived home after dinner to find more bags and another guest. I tried to smile and be friendly, but inside I was screaming, “release me Abba.” Rex was growling from behind the door and he was a good 100 pounds. I was so fatigued, and now I had to get the leash and take him outside, making sure he did not weasel his way into the neighbor’s yard and bite them or one of my houseguest.

Within minutes of taking the dog out, her daughter felt sick at her stomach. She wanted to leave. She began to cry. She was around fourteen. I tried to console her. I offered food—a Ginger-ale—Tums. Her father picked her up shortly afterward. I was relieved. I made my way outside for fresh air. A few minutes later my friend came outside on the porch where I sat, and she looked at me teary eyed and said, “Someone prayed for my daughter to leave.” Someone has caused this because they didn’t want my daughter here!” They made her sick and oh how BADLY I HAVE MISSED HER. Tears and anger rolled gently off her cheeks.”

Have you ever not wanted someone in your clique —house—family–assembly?

I will never forget that moment– along with many other splatters of shame that have wedged in my brain. Perhaps you have never had these thoughts?  Perhaps you have prayed these prayers or thought these thoughts about a person or a dog for that matter– or perhaps you haven’t?

The heart—who can know it? The mouth eventually gives it away unless the person has jaws of steel and the silent treatment is their MO. But ask their spouses—yes, they know and so does our Heavenly Husband. He knows our hearts. “For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.” 2nd Chronicles 16:9 NASB.

Years ago I was asked to share at an assembly with hubby when we were newly married. I was sharing a testimony—no doctrine—no teaching that anyone could inspect with a microscope, but suddenly I couldn’t think right. I couldn’t speak. I had no words. Fumbling. I felt–unwanted.

AND just like my friend on the porch that night with her antennas out screaming, “SOMEONE PRAYED FOR MY DAUGHTER TO LEAVE!” I FELT IT. I was pretty sure I knew who it was commanding under their breath for my mouth to be shut. I quickly apologized for my loss of memory and turned things over to the one in charge. About a week later this person sat on my couch in my living room and told me he cringed when my husband handed me the microphone. This person was a straight shooter. How could I not forgive him? I was no better.

Straight shooters at times seem more refreshing than the ones who hide behind layers of perfection and never pull their heart out and show people the cuts, bruises, insecurities, rejections, and weaknesses. They appear perfectly put together.

Have you ever listened to someone pray a wet noodle– pitiful mossy flavored prayer that would make a better Nyquil commercial? Ever think while they’re praying it—“Won’t you please get DONE!!@#?” Probably not…

Sadly, I have.

I’ve sat and judged and thought, “if I was praying and proclaiming this scripture and that scripture and summoning powerful words that are led by His Ruach Holy Spirit. . .




Many of us are good at this. We survey fruit like a cantaloupe or an avocado that we need to check for ripeness and walk past a mirror and glance at it and never even notice we have spinach in our teeth and a roll of toilet tissue stuck in our underwear draping down our smelly back sides.

Most of us have never seen ourselves on television or in real time. We have watched the freshly groomed, cleaned shaven, makeup intact, well-rehearsed versions of ourselves. But grab a camera in the middle of a fight with a spouse or a hot day in traffic with a screaming toddler or eight house guest and post our youtube channels. No, we don’t capture those moments. We don’t see ourselves as others do. If I had to guess it’s probably one way or the other. We see ourselves a little too good or not good at all. Yes, and even that has pity and pride in it–but then there is the other issue that’s far worse.

My mother used to wear very nice maxi dresses which she hand stitched using McCall’s patterns and added adornments. My mother was very attractive and always looked much younger than her years. So one day a lady who lived in the neighborhood had been watching my mother leave for church and other engagements in her long maxis and came over and inquired about borrowing one of my mother’s gowns for a special occasion. My mother weighed about a hundred and thirty pounds and the woman who stood before her weighed at least three hundred. She thought she could borrow one of my mom’s dresses because she, like us, kept passing by the mirror and seeing what she wanted to see reflecting back at her.

There is another story about my mother that I will never forget. One day she was invited to a Tupperware party. Yes, I’ve told this one before. The party was hosted by a lady whose husband worked with my dad. My mother and his wife were good friends. They were Pentecostals. I don’t think they wore headscarves or Tzitzit’s, but they had their own attire. Long hair, no makeup, and a strict unspoken rule book. My mother showed up to the party with her thick eyeliner, mascara, bleach blonde hair, and a pair of jeans. The women soon gathered in the kitchen away from my mother. They whispered. They snickered. They made remarks my mother overheard. Jezebel.

Finally, my mother stood in front of them as the Tupper ware presentation was coming to a close and she said, “If you really think I’m a Jezebel headed for hell, shouldn’t you have shown me love and told me about your God—my God—our God? Isn’t love the greatest gift? Won’t the world know us by our love?”

You could have heard a pin drop in the room. It was a Harper Valley P.T. A- moment. My mother in tears made her way home.

Let’s go further.

One night before a conference with a pastor I traveled to churches with ministering, a small group of us in ministry had gathered outside the sanctuary and we were all talking on couches when several others came and sat with us. Some of them had issues with mental health. One was convinced he was the anti-Christ. They were coming to these meetings for prayer and healing. Some had issues that needed to be dealt with. One night, a woman who most did not want around them due to her beady eyes, a strange sense of humor, and continuous mirth at all the wrong moments, sat across the way from me and began to talk, tease, and chatter to the persons next to her. The woman road a public transit bus there and had some form of disability. I glanced at her backpack on wheels with its Jesus stickers and hearts and pondered her idiosyncrasies.

She had never married or had children. One by one, I watched people scurry away. Suddenly, they were in need of using the restroom or began to gather into another area by the coffee machine, but Abba sort of whispered to me in that moment—see her. Do you want to be with the elite? Go love my sheep with all the love and even more that you have for these you are looking up to—these who are impressed by your Biblical knowledge—these who have asked you to speak on Thursday night… because, Tekoa, I am not impressed.

Heart conditions…

Me, out of everyone there, should have understood. I was the child who was drug, literally, while crying, down the hallway by my sister and principal the first year of my schooling. I was the last one picked for sporting events in PE. I was the shy pigeon toed girl who sat at lunch in elementary school alone at times. Children holding their noses at my smelly paper sack lunch with hard boiled eggs that stunk. Children making fun of me. I learned to throw my food away on the way to school. Then I was ganged in Middle school and beaten up. I learned to disappear in a room. Now I was watching adults do what was done to me.

I walked over by this woman created by my Father and began to make small talk. I eased into the chair next to her. I began to ask her personal things and smile—look deeper into her small eyes and imagine His eyes shining back at me. I tried to ignore that it was summer and she was wearing thick tights the color of a 1990’s hunter green kitchen counter top or that her paisley mauve dress looked dated from 1940, or how she cracked 3rd-grade jokes, laughing hysterically. And then I began to ask her about her life—dreams—aspirations. Mostly what I remember next is this woman in her 40’s crying buckets of tears and her telling me about her pain—her heavenly Father (personal,) her earthly father who passed away and her tragic upbringing.

And in that moment. . .

My mother–misunderstood, attired in lipstick and eyeliner, could have been sitting next to me in a room full of religious spirits. And if you think it doesn’t exist in our new found Torah fellowship, our smiling Joel stadium, our small rural congregation, our shul, our synagogue–find a mirror.

Just look…

Where was I?

Yes, hunter green stockings lady.

I listened as she unfolded the sad details of her life in an articulate manner and how much love she had for Abba. I felt smaller than small. I tried to imagine all the ones He created and shaped on his Potter’s wheel that we ignore—angels unaware—

We hurt—we judge—or we think we know what could come forth out of their heart and parted lips. The ones we pray to stop talking—stop speaking—stop praying–fade into the background of our lives or die like a dog who howls too loudly.

The lepers are crying out in this season.


They scream, “Son of David have mercy on me!” While the crowd tries to shut their mouths. Have mercy they roar– as we scoot to the other side of the street—the room–we pretend we don’t hear them or see them.

There was a Canaanite woman whose daughter was vexed with demons and she was in great need, but what did his chosen men say at that time?

Send her away, because she keeps shouting at us.”

She keeps laughing too loudly.

She has dirty laundry.

She’s embarrassing.

I’m too tired.

The healthy, chosen disciples, who one day would ponder which side—the right or the left– they could sit on in His kingdom, had no compassion or empathy for a Canaanite woman with a daughter who was demon possessed.

Wasn’t their problem. Who cares if her daughter screams all night—hisses—puts holes in the walls—wears green stockings–not our problem.


I don’t need another houseguest Abba.

Can you hear my voice echoing from amongst His talmidim (disciples?)

Can you hear yours?

We, like them, wait to do what’s right—what we know is right.

We wait like Noah until the rain covers our ankles before we get on the Ark. . .

We wait like Moses until our wife has to circumcise our sons.

We wait until it’s dark to get an appointment with the King of All Kings.

We wait until it’s the Day of Atonement to get on our face and weep.


Sometimes people with titles who are well known get better treatment, and we make sure to respond to them quickly. Sometimes cliques happen and the people in them don’t even know that they have formed a group of elites—big dogs. We can walk in a room and feel loved, cherished, and wanted, or we can walk in a room and feel like a square peg amongst a group of round circles.

I wrote a chapter called Chickens and Pecking Orders in my book Thirsting for Water— I’m telling you they are more real than you know.

I’m almost finished.

I once was asked to drive to Bardstown, KY, and pray for a woman who was sick. She had a tumor that covered half her face and it came from her eyeball that looked like a cyclops. The first time I saw her and laid hands on her, I thought I might throw up from the feeling of inadequacy to do anything for her as I cried out for Abba to heal her and also by the appearance of her face. Have mercy—I wept for her—but. . . One afternoon as they were having a woman of valor type conference with food and fun, I, on the other hand, had to go pray and clean this woman’s home and her body—our body. The title of the conference was how to be a servant. Of course, we are talking a good 8 to 10 years ago, so I was still quite immature. I couldn’t just do my hidden offerings. I had to announce it, and I couldn’t just do it and feel honored that He had chosen me.Nope, not without pointing fingers at all the women who were having fun and who was the real servant? Well, it was me, of course! (Sarcasm) With my chest pumped out and my pride in hand, I judged them–and weren’t they healthy? I mean I was too sick to drive to the sick woman’s house I was going to. They were just all about themselves.


I must find one!

Here’s the dilemma: You and I have been selected to host a banquet or a Feast among the most prestigious men/women of the day. They are the crème de la crème! The most wonderful food, drinks, furnishings, are being prepared. It’s a Joyful Celebration! The list of invites is Sports stars, movie stars, Musicians, doctors, authors, philanthropist, Rabbi’s, and men/women of renown. They know the president, the prophet, the baker, the candlestick maker, and the ones who can move us up a notch. They know the Torah and the hidden secrets of His Word. They can interpret dreams and they have large followings. We will get to meet those in leadership afterward and drink up their knowledge. We have our guest list made out. It’s exciting!

But then. . . He speaks.

“ “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, otherwise they may also invite you in return and that will be your repayment. “But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind and you will be blessed. Since they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” The resurrection of the righteous…Luke 14:12-14.


One night you decide to venture away from the crème de la crème.

Yes, take a boat ride to a cemetery where two men are naked, deranged, cutting themselves and crying out. Their veins are shot. They’ve sold their bodies for one more fix. They have abscesses oozing, burn marks and scabs on their skin. Dark circled eyes that lack emotion. Hollowness. They’ve robbed their grandmother and stolen their family’s possessions in order to get high— just one more fix. You’ve heard they were molested—some tragedy befell them–No one in the town dares to try and help them, for chains won’t even hold them. Their children have given up on them. Matter a fact, the other day, someone said that if someone took a 9 milometer to their heads, and threw them in an unmarked grave, the whole city would probably feel better. What?

But suddenly, yes, and then suddenly the true Ruach HaKodesh shows up. You pray and He shows up with great power. When you leave two men are clothed and in their right mind, and you tell them to go minister to their family, and that they don’t need to follow your ministry. Go make disciples!

We have a choice every day to touch people. We have a choice to make a difference in someone’s life. We can do it with bitterness, pride, going through the motions, and so forth, or we can do it in love.

Feed my sheep.

Love my sheep.

Correct my sheep.

Rebuke my sheep.

“Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction” 2nd Timothy 4:2.

Yeshua was the Son of man, who took the time to see one woman at a well. I’ve preached this before but it seems time to do it again. One woman who didn’t even have the facts right. She didn’t have the whole book down pat with all the truth! Many of us would have screamed, “False prophet” Shun her!

“Woman,” Yeshua replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem.  You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews.” Yes, salvation is of the Jews—we don’t need to worry about their salvation–they’ll be just fine.

Yeshua went on to say that he was looking for a certain type of person who would worship Him in spirit and in truth, and this woman grabbed on to His Words and went and preached the gospel to her whole city.

During this time of introspection, let’s not just look in the mirror, but let’s get on the scales and see if we can fit into our wedding garments. Let’s all find the people no one deems important and go sit by them.

Invite them to our Feast!!!




Let us have a guest list that may even get us a spot in THE FIRST resurrection. Paul said he hoped he was found worthy of making that one.

Forgive me, but I need to go find a mirror!